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"to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"

We are the Santa Rampage, We are the Santa Rampage,
We ARE the Santa Rampage! Now give us some Beer!

We want some Brass Monkey, We want some Brass Monkey,
We WANT some Brass Monkey... But we'll settle for BEER!

We won't go until we get some.  We won't go until we get some.
We WON'T go until we get some.  Have we mentioned THE BEER?!

 
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(originally sung by the Mushroom Tabernacle Choir)

A Tab of Yellow Sunshine LSD
TWO Hundred Reds
THREE Pounds of Grass
FOUR Grams of Hash
FIVE Valiums
SIX Joints of Smoking
SEVEN Whites a-Buzzing
EIGHT Spoons of Snorting
NINE Caps of dropping
TEN Peyote Buttons
ELEVEN Magic Mushrooms
TWELVE Pints a-dripping

 
Silent night, Welfare night
All are sloshed, all are tight
Ain't no virgins, just winos and thieves
Fast asleep in a heap of debris
Sleep in darkness and freeze
Sleep in darkness and freeze
 
Oh you better freak out
You better not drive
You better freak out
I'm telling you why
Cannabis is coming to town

He's rolling a joint, licking it twice
Gotta make sure those Zig Zags look nice
Cannabis is coming to town
He knows when you've been stealing,
Crashing or awake.
He knows when you've been eating Reds,
So stop for goodness sake!

Oh you better freak out
You better not drive
You better freak out
I'm telling you why
Cannabis is coming to town

Potheads out in the Valley,
Will have a big Or-gy
While Mom & Dad are shooting up,
behind the Christmas Tree
(Ho Ho Ho)
Oh you better freak out
You better not drive
You better freak out
I'm telling you why
Cannabis is coming to town